Monday, March 25, 2024

Week 9: Frenche and God

Sorry guys, it's been a busy P-day, so I'm sending this late, and it'll be shorter than normal. We had a zone P-day, so all the missionaries in the Abilene zone went to the zoo, because that's the only attraction in Abilene. There is literally nothing here, lol. I got peed on by a Bobcat at the zoo. It only got a tiny bit on my shoe, but still. It caught me off guard.

Language
So, Elder Rochelle told me how at week 3, he wanted to speak only Spanish. Solo EspaƱol, and I was reluctant but agreed because it's good for me. We were supposed to do that at the MTC, but we weren't that diligent in it. But today, when we officially started week three, we started speaking only Spanish, for all the small talk conversation. Our talks aren't as deep anymore, but that's fine. We talk in English with the English missionaries and when we meet English people, so I'm not totally Spanish, but when it's just us, it's only Spanish, and it's been good.

Money and lactos
Budgeting is important. I did not handle the money I was given as well as I should have and so I'll be a little bit hungry this week, but that's OK. That's all I'm gonna say, but yeah. The mission obviously gives you lots of life skills. Also, I might be Lactose intolerant. Still not sure, but if I am, it's not severe. I was gonna go dairy free for a week to find out for sure, but after the zone meeting today, they had cookies n cream ice cream...

Frenche, and Spiritual Thought
So I had a crazy personal study on Friday, and then we had a crazy comp study. I can't talk about everything, because I still gotta write in my journal tonight, and I'm short on time. So we talked a lot about understanding, and how to get to the celestial kingdom, which is basically the main goal of the Gospel, because it's only in the celestial kingdom that we can love with God and with eternal families. Anyways, a little backstory, there's this guy named Frenche who we've visited a few times, but we had to drop him last week. I almost wrote about it, but decided not to. He is an interesting guy. He started "speaking in tounges," but really he was just shouting gibberish which was interesting. He's a major smoker and drinker, but he says he is so close to God and knows he's saved. He's like 76, commanded a navy ship, killed 7 people, and he says he doesn't believe in religion (because it's mad-made), but he still keeps having us over. It's mainly because he's lonely, and just wants people to talk to. We've taught him a few things, and he has read some of the Book of Mormon, but he's also always high when we see him, so idk how much has been getting through. He loves me, but hates Elder Rochelle. I could get more into details, but there are all the basics. Anyways, we both agreed that we shouldn't visit him as much because he refuses to change, and he'll talk for hours, but won't listen to a word we say. We told him that the Gospel is all about becoming, and how our purpose is bring him closer to Christ, and how we wouldn't be able to visit him as much anymore because he hadn't been accepting our help. He got very upset, and for a sec he thought we were excomunicating him, even though he's not a member, but its hard to explain things to him. He's not all there mentally. He started swearing at us, mainly Elder Rochelle, and he kicked us out of his house. He gave me a hug, because he likes me (kinda confused, he might be bipolar) but he was really angry with Elder Rochelle. Anyways, when we were talking about him during comp study, I had said "If he only understood, he would change." And then Elder Rochelle told me "we're responsible for our own understanding." Which really hit me hard. It's sad, because the Gospel is the way to find joy, and you're happier when you live it, but too many people just won't even give it a chance. They don't understand, and they don't bother trying to understand. In 2 Nephi 32:4, it says: 

Wherefore, now after I have spoken these words, if ye cannot understand them it will be because ye ask not, neither do ye knock; wherefore, ye are not brought into the light, but must perish in the dark.

It's so true, and it's so sad. Here we are, walking around with the answers to the questions of the universe, and people say "I'm not interested" before they realize why we're there. But they've locked their hearts, and we can't force them to come to the light. As badly as we want to at times, we can't make them feel the joy of the Gospel. It made me realize a little bit more as to why God made this whole plan to begin with. He's searching for those of his Children who are willing to open their hearts, and are willing to wrestle with him. I learned something during exchanges. Isreal meand "He who wrestles with God." I thought that was so cool because we are gathering Israel. We're searching for, teaching, and gathering those who are willing to struggle, willing to wrestle with doubt, faith, and questions, and willing to someday become like him. You're responsible for how receptive you are. If you don't understand something, you're the one responsible for figuring it out. God put us here so he could sort out his children between those who are bad, good, and who love him enough to become like him. It takes work. If you're not willing to even begin looking for answers, how can you expect to receive them. God wants you to have an understanding, he wants you to know of his love for you, and he wants you to reach you Godly potential, but even more than that, he want's you to want it.

Nevermind, that wasn't shorter than normal. I got carried away writing, and now I'm gonna be late for bed. GOODNIGHT!
- Elder Wride





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