Week 13: Who's on the Lord's side? Who?

Introduction

Ok, not too much happened this week other than the big meeting. I thought about how much was appropriate to share, and I think I'll give a little bit of context, but I'm gonna focus more on what I learned rather than talk about the extent of the situation here.

A day of Choosing

So we had a meeting yesterday with the entire mission. All 170 missionaries met together because of some issues that came to light to the president. I won't say a lot of what was said here, but there has been a culture of disobedience here, and it became serious enough that some missionaries were sent home. It was serious enough that Elder Schmutz, of the seventy came down to address and correct all the issues in the mission, sent by the 12. He addressed a lot of scriptures that I'll talk about, because they're all really good. You don't have to read then all, because there are a lot, but I'm gonna share my thoughts of each one. Everyone in the room who was willing, raised their hands and promised to stand with Christ, to strictly obey the Standards for Disciples of Jesus Christ, to hold each other accountable to those standards and to encourage each other to draw closer to the Savior instead of further away from him. Now I don't wanna say too much else about the meeting, but it was a day of Choosing. Who's on the Lord's side? Now is the time to choose. Now is the time to show.

Called and Chosen

He shared mang scriptures, and I'll make a list of all the scriptures he referenced if you want to study them, but I want to share a few that emphasized the difference between being called and Chosen. 

D&C 95:5-6 said that many are called and few are chosen, and those who are not chosen are walking in Darkness at Noon-day. It was a powerful reminder that when we are living without the spirit, we're the ones missing out. There is so much light right now, especially in the field. We are promised miracles, but if we are not faithful and worthy, we'll be left in darkness.

D&C 105:35

There has been a day of calling, but the time has come for a day of choosing; and let those be chosen that are worthy.

Among the many things he shared, he called this a day of choosing. Now was the day for us to choose who we're going to be. We've all been called to the work. We've all been called to the gospel. We've all been called as missionaries, even without a tag. We've all been called, but we need to choose today if we're going to be worthy. We get to choose if we're chosen. It's funny, it's a day of Choosing in two ways. The day we choose to obey God is the day he chooses to guide us. Once we commit and choose to obey God, he blesses us with his spirit and with the powers of heaven.

D&C 121:34-37

I won't talk all about this one, but please read it. It talks about how we become chosen. But a key point is the heavens are open, we know that, but you have to strive to be righteous or the heavens withdraw themselves from you, and you miss out.

Luke 9: 57-62

This one struck me hard because it'll be the hardest for me to apply and accept. Go read it before you read what I say, because Jesus says it better. "No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is not for the kingdom of God." Don't look back. Don't give yourself reason to delay or not be 200% committed. Don't worry about hurrying the dead if it delays preaching the kingdom of God. Don't worry about saying goodbye or reminiscing in who you used to be, just let it go. Once you've found God, once you've begun the work, you have to surrender to God's will and begin pushing the plough. Do not look back, do not delay, but go forward in this great cause. Nothing is more important than bringing to pass the eternal life of man.

All the scriptures referenced:

Judges 7:4-7 (I can explain this one more if needed, because it can be kind of confusing at first)

Matthew 7:21-24

Luke 9:57-62

1 Nephi 2:14

1 Nephi 3:5-7

Jacob 2...

Mosiah 21:14,16

Alma 5-6

D&C 95:5-6

D&C 100:7-8

D&C:39-41

D&C 105:35

D&C 121:34-37

Anyways

Sorry for sharing so much from the scriptures, but I'm not really sorry because they're the scriptures!! And you should be studying them. I wish I could've gone through all of them but I don't wanna be overbearing, and I don't wanna run out of time. For my personal study the night after the meeting I went through all of those scriptures, and I learned a lot and I know you can too. Basically, strict obedience brings miracles, and the culture of this mission changed on Monday. We have all been called to serve him, but now we're beginning to be a chosen people. Guys, PLEASE don't walk in darkness, because you're mission out. There is so much light to the gospel and it's everywhere, if you'll just open your eyes and open your heart. Just let in the Gospel, and choose it. It's a choice, and everyone must have their day of Choosing. When that day comes and what you choose is up to you. Please choose the right.

Family back home

Some exciting news, Joseph is now engaged!!! Go buy him and his fiancé Eliza a Lego set or something because they're amazing. Lol j/k, I don't think they want Legos right now. So I guess I'll be missing at least 2 weddings while on the mission, maybe more... it's sad but I'm so happy for Ethan and Joe. Everybody please leave Mel and Hyrum alone though, I don't want them to get snatched yet because then I'll have to miss more dance parties...

Emails

So my mom is great, and she is saving all my emails into one place. So this link has all my past emails:

https://elderwesleywride.blogspot.com/?m=1

Week 12.5: Go Forward

Introduction

Ok, so this week was the week of transfers, and just guess that means you can't have P-day on Monday, because they changed it to today! I put it as 12.5 because its been 1 and a half week. I will not be moving for transfers, so I'll get to work some more in Abilene, and try to help the Spanish group grow more.

Teaching the Pros (the Council)

Lol, so the stake president wants the members of the stake to be more united with missionaries in the work. It's a good thing, but how they decided to help make it happen was a little scary. The ZL's asked Elder Rochelle and I if we could teach the 3rd lesson (the Gospel of Jesus Christ) to the stake high council during their meeting. (blank stare emoji) Ngl, that was really scary. However the morning of, when planning how we were going to teach it we made some goated cutouts of the steps of the gospel, and the lesson was actually amazing! We talked about each principle and how it fuels the other ones, and it was really cool. When we talked about enduring to the end, I had a thought that I felt I should share about thinking celestial. We've been told that salvation is a personal matter, and exaltation is a family matter. And I shared how that means once you've found the Gospel you can't just hunker down and wait it out till the second coming. When you're on the covenant path, you have an obligation to stay on it, and hold others onto the path too. When they say a family matter, that means first your immediate family, but then also your ward family, and literally everyone. When you've found the Gospel, you have an obligation to teach it. If you've found the path, bring others to it and hold them on until they have the strength to hold on for themselves and hold others onto it with them. And if you haven't found it, go find it.

Family

So I wrote about the eclipse last week, and it was awesome. A lot of my family drove down to Dallas for the eclipse, and if I chose to I could've seen them. My mission president said he discouraged it, especially this soon in my mission, and so I chose not to. When they sent pictures of them coming, I honestly started to regret my decision, but it was the right move. I need to be focused. I think I could've handled it tho. It just would've been nice to give Peter, Katherine, Daniel, Owen, Natalie, Sophie, and Mom all a hug. I love my family. Anyways, we had zone conference, and during our lunch break, my Mom sent me a picture of Peter standing next my apartment DOOR! I was like what the heck!? So that was awesome, and all my little bros left me crafts that they made during conference, and I'll share Peter's because it's seriously adorable! I look sort of like sid the sloth and it is so funny. I love it. Anyways, my family drove through, and saw the area that I've been serving in. What's funny is our apartment was unlocked at the time so they literally could've walked in and seen everything. It was sweet tho, and it was nice to be like, "Wow, Peter was standing right here." He and Katherine took pictures in front of one of the water towers here, so I'm gonna get a picture in the same spot as soon as I can.

Swahili

So we met a swahili family. They're amazing, but really struggle with English. The Mom and Dad gave one son, and he speaks a little bit of English, and so does his Dad. Emanuel (the son has been our gift of tongues tho). Moses (the Dad) is amazing too. He's got an insane fore inside him, and they all came to church in the same week we met them. They're also reading the Book of Mormon, and we taught them the plan of salvation, and Moses said he's going to ask God if it's true. It was hard to teach them though because we don't speak Swahili, and part of me was like "you should learn swahili," but also I'm trying to learn Spanish right now. It's tough, but they're amazing, so we're gonna keep teaching them, also because we don't have Swahili Missionaries here (yet).

Spiritual Thought on Bings

So things have been going a lot better than at first on this transfer. Our mission president told us to listen to the Bings, and listen to the first one, not the second one that comes right after. Because when you have a positive thought, immediately right after, there is a thought that's just like "nah, don't do that." For me they haven't felt like Bings, because that implies you feel something or hear a little ding. Some other missionaries talk about "glowing doors" or how they just felt like "we NEED to go talk to that person." I haven't really felt anything like that, I've just been like, "well I guess we could knock that door, it's not a bad thing." That's how I've been deciding whether to follow through with my random thoughts or impulses. If it's a good thing, then let's just do it. No harm done, if anything comes out of it, it'll be good. So we have been a lot better especially this week at following those first "Bings" even though they haven't really felt like Bings to me. But God knows I'm trying, and I can't type all of everything right now, but too many things have just fitted so perfectly that I'm pretty sure that it was God planting those random thoughts in my head. He doesn't make certain thoughts really stand out though, it always feels like a "well its up to you decision." But why does God need to make a door glow, or need to make a person pull you in. If it's a good thing, just do it, and let what happens happen.

Spiritual Thought 2: GO FORWARD

Sorry, it's been a good week. When I called my Dad, we talked about some of my struggles, and then he mentioned how God's able to help us more, the more we try to do on your own. And even though I've supposedly already learned this lesson, I had to relearn it again so I could understand it at a deeper level. This week I've been trying to just go forward even though I feel like there's nowhere to go, and during one of my studies, I found myself in exodus studying Moses leading the people through the red sea. In Exodus 14:14-16 it says

14The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

15And the Lord said unto Moses, Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward

16 But lift thou up thy rod, and stretch out thine hand over the sea, and divide it: and the children of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea.

Just think about it, they are currently being chased by the Egyptians who are trying to kill them, and they are trapped in between a pillar of fire and the Red Sea. And what does God say "Wherefore criest thou unto me?... go forward." Basically "what are you looking at me for!! Keep walking. Where are they supposed to go? They are stuck, and God just tells them to go forward? At the MTC, someone sent me the Prince of Egypt  movie, and I downloaded it, but I haven't watched it because I learned that it wasn't allowed. Its an amazing movie though, all of you should watch it this sunday. But anyways, I did watch the scene where they were trapped. And what I LOVE about this movie was how Moses started walking into the water. When he went forward, people were looking at him all weird, likely thinking "Wow, this guy's an idiot. Where does he think he's going? Does he expect us all to swim across?" But this is what God wants. He wants us to reach our breaking point and then some, because that is how we become true disciples of Jesus Christ. He didn't know how he was going to keep going, but God said "Go Forward." So he did. He started walking and then with the power that God gave him, he parted the Red Sea. I think that's so beautiful, and that power is in all of us. The question is are we willing to go forward when there is no where to go? Do we trust God as much as Moses does? We talk of miracles like the parting of the Red Sea, but do we really believe that God has that same power today. I'm trying to believe it. If God is the same today, yesterday, and forever, then we have that power in us too. If we are willing to trust in God and go forward, especially when there is no where to go, THAT is when God parts our Red Seas.

Pictures:

- Amazing quote, think about what it really means

- Siblings and water towers

- General Conference crafts, and Peter literally at my door!! Love them

- the Cats name is Kyle. She is a girl, but we keep forgetting cuz she's one of the guys

- our run the other day in a coole trenchish thing. We also found a homeless people village in a small forest nearby but I forgot to get a picture.

Week 11: Conference

This conference was seriously amazing. This was the first time that I felt I really needed answers, so I was looking forward to it for weeks. I wrote down all of my questions, and 90% of them were answered in the first session, which was really cool. 2 of my questions weren't answered, but president nelson told us to go back and study the talks of this conference often until the next one, so maybe I'll find my answers in the next 6 months.

Spanish

So Elder Rochelle and I were trying to speak only Spanish, but I haven't been as diligent in that because I don't know how to say what I want to say, and when he says something in Spanish, I often need him to repeat it multiple times or just say it in English, and so it slowly died down. We literally can't just speak Spanish here tho, all of the other missionaries are English missionaries, except a few, and other stuff. Anyways, my desire to learn Spanish is diminishing, and so I haven't been working as hard, and I think my Spanish is getting worse. I'm gonna try to step it up this week though.

Someone we met tonight

So we had just had interviews with the mission president today, and that was fun. As we were driving home, we still had 30 minutes before we had to go home. We were debating whether or not we should visit one of our investigators, and Elder Rochelle tried following some advice he got about prayer from the president, and we decided we'd go visit him, but on the way, Elder Rochelle said he didn't feel like we should, and then the guy said they were getting ready for bed anyways, and then he pulled over so we could ķnock some Doors. When walking to our 2nd door, this woman pulled up in her car and asked us what we needed. We said we had a special message, and she said "OK, what do you got?" And we brought up the Book of Mormon. I asked that if God gave her more scripture, if she would be interested in reading it. At first she uncertainly said maybe, and then later said that she would most likely not read it. Then we started about how she's been struggling with God, Faith, and other things, and then we testified of the power of the Book of Mormon. Since my testimony kind of reset, there's a lot that I'm hesitant to testify of,  but since I've read the Book of Mormon and felt it's influence, I was able to bear my witness that reading the book would bless her life, and help her in what she was struggling with. We left her one, and I do believe she'll end up opening it. Anyways, so that was fun.

Conference

This conference was golden, I loved it. One thing I'll share, cuz I'm running out of time, that I liked was when Elder Pieper said the best way to learn how to trust God is simply by trusting him. It's true, you can really only gain a testimony of something by doing it. That's how I gained a testimony of the Book of Mormon and some other things. I've read it, and it helped me. If I want to gain the witness that I'm looking for, I have to put in the effort. You have to try it. You have to trust in God in order to develop a relationship with him. Do your best in the things you can control, and pray for his help in the things you can't. Anyways, sorry for sending it so late. 

Eclipse 

The eclipse was cool but we didn't get a full eclipse in Abilene. It did get darker though. 

The full eclipse picture below was sent by missionaries who serve further east.

That ball of paper picture is what happened when Elder Rochelle washed our subway coupons

(note by Wesley's mom - he didn't attach any photos to his email, the one above is one he sent me during the eclipse though, I emailed him that I didn't get any pics, hopefully he'll send them to me next p-day)

Week 10: Chew your food

So this week was good. I honestly don't know what to write in this, because most of what I have worth writing is probably a bit too personal. I'm kinda struggling a bit with my own faith, but if the church is true then it'll work out. But anyways, some fun things happened.

Church

So we are the Spanish missionaries for like 4 wards, but we have a home ward, because it's the only one with the Spanish group. We only have 4 Spanish Speaking people who are actually members, which is not enough to become a branch or ward or anything but a group yet, so right now, our Spanish group is still part of the Fort Phantom Ward. For Easter Sunday, we combined the Spanish group sacrament meeting with the fort phantom sacrament meeting, and since they don't speak English, we had to set up a mic and headphones so brother reynoso could translate for them. Also, we've been teaching some investigators, who are wanting to be baptized and they love all that is in the gospel, but are struggling a bit with Coffee. They've been showing up consistently though, and Betsy's (the mother) daughter, along with 9 other people arrived into the states the morning of church. Its like a 2 month journey, and they did it all legally, so we're good, but they didn't get any sleep and didn't have time to in order to come to church. Betsy's not a member yet, neither is anyone in her family, but she told us that if they showed up before church they'd all be coming to church. So Betsy made our Spanish group jump from a size of 4 to 14ish. It was a big jump, and Elder Rochelle is really happy about it. I am too.

Steakhouse EMT

So, for the eclipse, my Uncle Mark, Aunt Chalane, and my cousin Isaac all are driving to Dallas (I think) for it, and Mark asked if he could take me and my comp for lunch. Because of my poor money choices, we literally had no food for lunch, and so that was a blessing. The food was amazing. My first Texas Steakhouse was actually in Texas and that felt pretty cool. It was wonderful to see them all again, and get to talk to them. Funny thing tho, I have this problem where if I really enjoy my food, I tend not to chew enough, and with steak that's not good. While we were talking, I swallowed a piece of steak that was too big and it got stuck in my throat. Usually if I just keep swallowing I'm able to get it down, but it was just too big, and I was dying. I kept trying to swallow and drink water but that just built up the amount if stuff I was trying to swallow, and it was getting hard to breathe. Eventually, even though I said I was fine, they all made me run to the bathroom, and while I was running I realized I was definitely not fine. As I ran, my eyes were really watery so I couldn't see that great, and snot started dripping down, and I was basically throwing up while running (but only saliva), and it was really gross. I tried to catch it by cupping my hands below my mouth but it was just nasty and dripped all over my tie and pants but miraculously not on my white shirt. I got to the bathroom and started heaving over the sing but I had swallowed too much and now it was stuck. So I had a piece of ribeye steak just lodged in my throat making it hard to breathe. Then a guy walked in named Tyler who told me he was an EMT and that he saw me run in, obviously not ok. He asked if I was choking, and I said yeah, (I could still speak), and after hitting my back and stuff, Elder Rochelle walked in and Tyler was giving him info to the nearest ER, but then I managed to swallow it down. I don't really know how to describe the sensation of having something lodged in your throat, but I tried. He then asked if I wanted to say a prayer, and so we did. He said that he's christian, and even though we're "Mormons", we're all on the same team. I liked that. Tyler said the prayer, and it was great. I finished all my good, which might've not been smart but it was steak. When Tyler was saying I should go to the ER, I started to panic a bit inside not because of the ER, and struggling to breathe, but because I wouldn't be able to finish my steak if I did. Luckily I got to eat it all, and I've had no issues. Except the muscles in my body are a little sore.

Spiritual Thought

I've got a few spiritual things I'm wrestling with right now, but I don't really wanna talk about all them on this. Personal stuff, lol. But one things my Dad mentioned on my call with him today was that if the church is true then it can handle a little scrutiny. It's OK not to know everything, and don't pretend you know stuff if you don't. That's my personal opinion. I think a lot of people say they know things when they really don't. I think a lot of people say they know in things that they really know, but the difference is that they've put in the work to know it. When I put my title as chew your food, that doesn't just apply to our physical food, it applies to our Spiritual food. If we just try to showed food down, it can get stuck. This causes us to choke, and it sometimes kills. Some food requires more chewing the same way that some Doctrine requires more study and more wrestling. You can't just eat the spiritual food, you can't just accept the Doctrine without truly understanding, savoring, and feasting on it. Chew on it. If the church is true, then go ahead and find the answers, because all the answers are there somewhere. And if it isn't true, then you'll realize that sooner and then you don't have to be a part of it. Either way, you can't just ride on the testimonies of others forever. You can't just trust the opinions of others forever and just believe thay steak tastes good without trying it. Eventually you've got to try it, cut it, put it in your mouth, chew on it, and swallow so that you can know for yourself. Idk if that analogy totally works, but I thought of it just now and it makes sense to me. Basically, you need you gain your own witness of the savior. I'm still trying to gain my witness, but I do know that if this church is true, and all that entails is true, nothing else is of greater importance than this work.

- Elder Wride

1. My lunch

2 & 3. The Wrides

4. My photoshop skills

5. Elder Rochelle and I

6. Mel's photoshop skills (my sister)

7. Mel playing a piano in an elevator. One of my new bucketlist items

Week 9: Frenche and God

Sorry guys, it's been a busy P-day, so I'm sending this late, and it'll be shorter than normal. We had a zone P-day, so all the missionaries in the Abilene zone went to the zoo, because that's the only attraction in Abilene. There is literally nothing here, lol. I got peed on by a Bobcat at the zoo. It only got a tiny bit on my shoe, but still. It caught me off guard.

Language

So, Elder Rochelle told me how at week 3, he wanted to speak only Spanish. Solo Español, and I was reluctant but agreed because it's good for me. We were supposed to do that at the MTC, but we weren't that diligent in it. But today, when we officially started week three, we started speaking only Spanish, for all the small talk conversation. Our talks aren't as deep anymore, but that's fine. We talk in English with the English missionaries and when we meet English people, so I'm not totally Spanish, but when it's just us, it's only Spanish, and it's been good.

Money and lactos

Budgeting is important. I did not handle the money I was given as well as I should have and so I'll be a little bit hungry this week, but that's OK. That's all I'm gonna say, but yeah. The mission obviously gives you lots of life skills. Also, I might be Lactose intolerant. Still not sure, but if I am, it's not severe. I was gonna go dairy free for a week to find out for sure, but after the zone meeting today, they had cookies n cream ice cream...

Frenche, and Spiritual Thought

So I had a crazy personal study on Friday, and then we had a crazy comp study. I can't talk about everything, because I still gotta write in my journal tonight, and I'm short on time. So we talked a lot about understanding, and how to get to the celestial kingdom, which is basically the main goal of the Gospel, because it's only in the celestial kingdom that we can love with God and with eternal families. Anyways, a little backstory, there's this guy named Frenche who we've visited a few times, but we had to drop him last week. I almost wrote about it, but decided not to. He is an interesting guy. He started "speaking in tounges," but really he was just shouting gibberish which was interesting. He's a major smoker and drinker, but he says he is so close to God and knows he's saved. He's like 76, commanded a navy ship, killed 7 people, and he says he doesn't believe in religion (because it's mad-made), but he still keeps having us over. It's mainly because he's lonely, and just wants people to talk to. We've taught him a few things, and he has read some of the Book of Mormon, but he's also always high when we see him, so idk how much has been getting through. He loves me, but hates Elder Rochelle. I could get more into details, but there are all the basics. Anyways, we both agreed that we shouldn't visit him as much because he refuses to change, and he'll talk for hours, but won't listen to a word we say. We told him that the Gospel is all about becoming, and how our purpose is bring him closer to Christ, and how we wouldn't be able to visit him as much anymore because he hadn't been accepting our help. He got very upset, and for a sec he thought we were excomunicating him, even though he's not a member, but its hard to explain things to him. He's not all there mentally. He started swearing at us, mainly Elder Rochelle, and he kicked us out of his house. He gave me a hug, because he likes me (kinda confused, he might be bipolar) but he was really angry with Elder Rochelle. Anyways, when we were talking about him during comp study, I had said "If he only understood, he would change." And then Elder Rochelle told me "we're responsible for our own understanding." Which really hit me hard. It's sad, because the Gospel is the way to find joy, and you're happier when you live it, but too many people just won't even give it a chance. They don't understand, and they don't bother trying to understand. In 2 Nephi 32:4, it says: 

Wherefore, now after I have spoken these words, if ye cannot understand them it will be because ye ask not, neither do ye knock; wherefore, ye are not brought into the light, but must perish in the dark.

It's so true, and it's so sad. Here we are, walking around with the answers to the questions of the universe, and people say "I'm not interested" before they realize why we're there. But they've locked their hearts, and we can't force them to come to the light. As badly as we want to at times, we can't make them feel the joy of the Gospel. It made me realize a little bit more as to why God made this whole plan to begin with. He's searching for those of his Children who are willing to open their hearts, and are willing to wrestle with him. I learned something during exchanges. Isreal meand "He who wrestles with God." I thought that was so cool because we are gathering Israel. We're searching for, teaching, and gathering those who are willing to struggle, willing to wrestle with doubt, faith, and questions, and willing to someday become like him. You're responsible for how receptive you are. If you don't understand something, you're the one responsible for figuring it out. God put us here so he could sort out his children between those who are bad, good, and who love him enough to become like him. It takes work. If you're not willing to even begin looking for answers, how can you expect to receive them. God wants you to have an understanding, he wants you to know of his love for you, and he wants you to reach you Godly potential, but even more than that, he want's you to want it.

Nevermind, that wasn't shorter than normal. I got carried away writing, and now I'm gonna be late for bed. GOODNIGHT!

- Elder Wride

Week 8: Questions

I think my brother Ethan will be happiest to hear this, but I shed my first tears this week. I was getting pretty frustrated about some things, and I started crying a bit when I was talking about it to my companion, but I'll talk a little bit more about what was going on later. Anyways, I hope this doesn't get too personal, because I kind of treat my emails more like extra-long journal entries. 

Wedding and Baptism 

So, I think the biggest highlight for our area was the baptism we had. Bianca has been preparing for baptism for a while, but since she's English, the sisters (Sister Price, and Sister White) have been teaching her. But, in order to get baptized, she had to get lawfully married to this guy. Her now-husband was baptized when he was younger. Anyways, they were just gonna sign the papers, but then she wanted a whole ceremony, and props to Sister Price (she actually wants to be a future wedding planner), she prepared a wedding in 24 hours. It was low key super hype. There weren't a lot of people there, like just the family and us missionaries, but it was fun. Elder Rochelle made cookies, and I just showed up and danced a little bit. The next day she got baptized, and that was nice. She didn't receive the holy ghost until the next day, which was sunday. They did it in front of the whole congregation, like how we do baby blessings, and that was new to me, but it was good. She seems really happy. 

Legos

So at our apartment, there were two Lego sets just chilling there, and I claimed them as my own. There was an Indiana Jones one, and a knockoff ninjago one. I was really happy about the ninja set, and I promised Peter, Owen, and Daniel that I would find away to send it home for them, because they like ninjago. Sad news tho, an Elder came by and snagged it because the Elder who originally bought it wanted it back. I had no real rights to it, and so it's gone. If any of you guys wanna send a ninjago set to them, I won't be upset, although they're probably a little bit spoiled when it comes to Legos. But Peter is really cute, so you can spoil him. Sorry Dad!

Gettin' fit

OK, so I am a pretty fit guy. I'm kinda worried about serving here in Texas, because we've been eating a lot, and I got my suit pants a little slim, (listen to your mothers!) I'm worried I'll get fat, lol. It's all good tho, because Elder Rochelle loves to run in the mornings, and so we've been doing that. We've been on 5 runs so far. I sort of just follow him, and hope we don't run for too long, because my shoes suck, and it's tiring, but its been good for me, so I try not to complain TOO much. Anyways, on our last run, we ran 3.5 miles in about 40 minutes! I'm very proud of it, idk if it's impressive, but I'm well pleased. We've also been doing other workouts, but yeah. I think that if I keep this up for 2 years, I will come back looking very physically attractive. We went to a fitness place tho, and the lady said I need more water and protein, so I'll start doing that. 2 years to sexy, baby!

Struggles

OK, on a more serious note, this week has honestly been tough for me, hence the tears I mentioned earlier. It's interesting. Being here on the mission really makes you think. When you go around and are constantly telling people "I believe this and I know this," etc, you start to wonder, "Do I really believe this? Do I really know this?" I want to be honest with people, and so I took a step back, and I was like "OK I need go figure out what I really have a testimony on." Before the mission, I thought I knew, but on the mission, it's different. When I broke it down, I decided that I only know two things. I know the Book of Mormon is a good book, and that reading it makes you a better person. I know that there is SOME higher power. It bothered be a lot that I couldn't say I believe in a lot of other things, especially the things I thought I knew, which is why I got frustrated and started tearing up. Lol, my testimony ain't as strong as some of you think. For the next couple of days, I was sort of looking/praying for proof. I was like, "God, I need something that makes sense." I asked Elder Rochelle a bunch of questions, one being how you can come to know something is true. He said that you can just feel it, but I was like that isn't enough! I felt like a feeling isn't a witness. People feel lots of things all the time, and I just wouldn't accept it. When we were going to visit some people to teach, we were talking a bit more about it, and sort of out of the blue, and definitely out of pocket, he said "Be careful about sign seeking." The way he said it, I just knew that God was giving me a warning. It pierced my heart I think, and then I got kinda scared like, shoot, what if God DOES give me proof. What if he strikes me blind or mute or something. The fact that I got so nervous about it though, sort of reminded me that I do have a testimony, because I wouldn't be afraid of something that I didn't believe was real. Anyways, I didn't think I was looking for signs, but I kind of was. Elder Rochelle gave me a blessing. Thankfully, he did not strike me dumb, but I heard a few things that surprised me. I want share them all, I'll just share one. He told me how all my concerns and doubts were logical, but that I needed to remember something. He paused for a long while, and then he said God is a God of Logic. That honestly surprised me. I've been thinking how a lot of things just aren't logical. Like saying you know something based on how it makes you feel? That doesn't feel logical. But then I started thinking, OK how is God being logical. And then, during personal study, I found two scriptures. The first is Doctrine and Covenants 63:12:

Wherefore, I, the Lord, am not pleased with those among you who have sought after signs and wonders for faith, and not for the good of men unto my glory.

At first I was like, dang, God is disappointed in me, but the word "for" stood out to me the most, but I couldn't articulate why until I happened to read 2 Nephi 26:13:

And that he manifesteth himself unto all those who believe in him, by the power of the Holy Ghost; yea, unto every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, working mighty miracles, signs, and wonders, among the children of men according to their faith.

So why do we look for miracles, signs, and wonders? Is it so that we can increase or gain faith in Jesus Christ? No, I was looking for proof because I wasn't placing my faith in Jesus Christ. We see miracles, signs, and wonders based on our faith in Jesus Christ. If we're looking for signs FOR our faith, then we're placing our faith in the sign, not in him. If I had received a sign without putting my faith in Jesus Christ, I would've put more faith in the sign, not in him. That is why he requires faith in him for miracles, because if we receive the miracle without faith. It doesn't help us. The miracles still come, but don't put your faith in miracles, put your faith in him. Idk if that'll make sense to you guys, but it makes sense to me. Anyways, do that was the lesson I received this week, and so I'm going to practice that. I'll try to do better to obey and follow God even when I feel like he has in a way abandoned me. You've got to submit and commit. Choose now to follow Christ and put faith in him, even if you don't feel he is there with you. That's what I'll be working on, putting more faith in Jesus Christ.

Pictures

One comment, we went bowling today, and my name in the game was Peter. I'm sorry Ethan that I got such a low score. I was really terrible

Week 7 - In Texas

I know I put last week as week 7, but today is actually week 7 because it's exactly 49 days from when I officially "started" my mission, but it feels like day 1. Things are a lot different then they were at the CCM. Walking around there I was super happy and willing to talk to everyone, but that was because everyone there is a missionary and a member. It's a lot scarier trying to start friendly conversations when they are not friendly in return.

Spanish

So, the language thing here is interesting. There are so many immigrants, as well as Americans (obviously) because it's Texas. I'd say that for every person you talk to here, at least in my area, which is Abilene, there's a 50/50 chance that the person speaks English or Spanish.  And it's impossible to tell! So many people look Mexican, but speak perfect English, and so many people look American but don't understand a word.  I always feel so embarrassed when I say "Hola!" And then they're like "Hello!" So yeah it's hard to know which language to speak. My comp, Elder Rochelle (ruh-shell) speaks really good Spanish, so I'm learning a lot, and we listen to conference talks in Spanish every time we drive. Driving feels weird, for some reason it feels like missionaries shouldn't be driving. Maybe it's just because he's a kind of a crazy driver though. Tiwi keeps telling him to "check [his] speed"

Churches

So Texas is actually a lot like Utah in one way. All you have to do is drive, and after like 1 minute, you can find 5 different church buildings to attend. The only difference is that each building belongs to a different church. We're the buckle of the Bible belt, do pretty much everybody here is a Christian, but all different Christians. Honestly, I think it's harder to teach with this that with people who haven't heard of Christ, because they already have an opinion, and a lot of people are very confident and aggressive about their beliefs. I'm not that aggressive, so it's kind of hard for me. But, in blessings I've had, and in the scriptures, and in advice I've received, I keep noticing the word Bold. Like "Be bold." I feel like I have a good understanding of the gospel, and a testimony, but idk how I'm supposed to bring someone to our church when they're already dead set on their own religion, and are much more bold when saying it. I think God is trying to toughen me up by sending me here.

Church

On Sunday, I had my first Sunday in Abilene, TX, and it was actually really good. The first ward was in English, and we heard lots of powerful testimonies. I think one of the best things I heard was this guy went up and told about his conversion story. He had met with the missionaries before, and asked "how come the blacks had to wait so long to receive the priesthood?" And they didn't have an answer for him, and he was like "ha, gotcha." If someone asked me that, idk if I could answer it either, so I should study that more. He then talked a bit about the Book of Mormon, but mainly about the importance of having an open heart and an open mind. I'd you close your heart, it's impossible for the spirit to enter, because only you can let it in. He did say that once he read the Book of Mormon, and actually allowed himself to be taught, he learned so much, and God blessed him tremendously. God wants to bless us, and he is, but we won't see that if we put up our umbrellas. Anyways, I thought it was powerful. Then we had a Spanish ward, but there are so few people that we did it in the relief society room. The only family that came was a family we taught earlier,  they're not members, but they are curious, and have been taught a lot. They seem very receptive, and Elder Rachelle thinks we can get that baptized really soon. The Spanish meeting was really good. It was fast Sunday here, because they had stake conference last week, so I got to fast 2 Sundays I  a row. I bore my testimony in Spanish, and Elder Rachelle thought I did really good. He said he got a 1.7 on the LSA before he arrived, and I got a 5, so I've got a good head start. But yeah church was really good, I felt the spirit very strongly.

Spontaneous investigator

So Elder Rachelle and I were driving home, and suddenly he pulled over and was like "I feel like we gotta knock that door." So we walked to the door he wanted and knocked, and this guy named Antony answered. He asked us why we were there, and Elder Rachelle was like "because God told us to." That got him interested. Elder Rachelle told him how we were just driving home and he felt prompted to knock his door, and he answered. So we talked for a bit, and left him with the Book of Mormon, the new testament, and the address to the church. I thought that it was a cool experience, and so we'll see what happens.

Some thoughts 

So basically, it was a good week, but also pretty hard, and I honestly enjoyed not a lot of it. It's not how I expected it to be, and talking to people is a lot harder than it used to be. Elder Rachelle mentioned how everyone has a reason for coming on a mission, but as you go along, you need to find a reason to stay on the mission. I think that goes for all aspects of the gospel, you need to know why you live it. I need to figure out why I'm really here, and I need to discover how important it really is. I trust that it's important, because my life at home is so good because of the gospel, but teaching it to people out here is different.

Bella and Ethan

Ethan and Bella also got married this week!! So happy for them. I was sad I missed the wedding, and the awesome party, but there will be a few more coming around. When I get back, they're gonna be the most epic parties ever.

Apartment

So, the apartment I'm in with Elder Rachelle has not been very well kept, and it's low key nasty. There are cockroaches everywhere. I didn't expect that in America. One jumped into my beans during lunch, and I found one on my leg this morning. Some Elder also left the cinnamon toast crunch bag open, and so it was infested. I'll put a picture in. Everything you care about has to be sealed up. It's so nasty, we're gonna clean a lot today. I hate cockroaches. Also, one Elder gave me a rubix cube, so that's sick, and it's not in bad condition either, and there are two legs sets just chilling here at the apartment, up for grabs. And so I grabbed them. What's funny is I almost bought that same Lego set back home, and I wanted a rubix cube at the CCM, and a black fanny pack back home, and a ukulele, and I got all those things here in my apartment! Even though it's gross, I think it's funny how God blessed me with exactly what I wanted, I just had to get on my mission to get it. They're just small things, but still. And I don't actually have the ukulele yet, but a different Elder left it at a different apartment and he said he would call the elders there and get it for me. God blesses us, we just gotta be patient and do what he asks. He wants us to be happy, and the best way to find happiness is by living the gospel, keeling the commandments. Amen

Pictures: sorry, I didn't take to many this week, but I'll take more here. I'll also send some from the last moments of the CCM. Also there's no order to it, but the roaches Pic is in there.

I solved the Rubix cube in less than 49 seconds!

I was able to call my family on Saturday for Ethan's wedding. Here is Peter talking to me at the reception

Also, just had to send this because Katherine is just so cute