Week 16: Do or do not, there is no try.

Fun fact, yesterday was Day 111 of the mission! Anyways, not much happened this week that I can write about, but I wanted to share a few things.

Interviews

We had one on one interviews with the president on the 8th of May, and it was a wonderful experience. We had zone conference the day before, and throughout it, I had written down questions and concerns that I had, and I shared them all with the President. The interviews are suppose to be 10 min tops, but I took 40-50 minutes of this time. He said it was worth it though, and I agree. 

As the next few days went on, I remembered something from the MTC. I talked about Elder Wilcox and told his story a while ago, and if you want to find it and re-read it, my Mom puts all my emails right here: https://elderwesleywride.blogspot.com/?m=1

But what I was reminded of was how Elder Wilcox had to suffer for 2 years before the miracle took place, and I believe that was because God wouldn't take it away until Elder Wilcox learned what he was supposed to learn, and became the man he was meant to become through that experience. For the past while, I've been like "God, why won't you speak to me like how you speak to everyone else? They all seem so sure, and I'm not." What came to mind was how God let's us walk alone when we can, because this is our journey. So instead of praying like, "God, why are you ignoring me?" I've been trying to be like "God, help me to learn what I'm supposed to be learning right now. Help me to be obedient, even though I don't feel it."

Do or do not, there is no try.

That leads me to my final thought, which is about what it means to actually do your best. I've often said "I'm trying to be obedient, I'm trying to stay focused, etc." But too often we use the word "try" incorrectly. We say "I'll try" as a way of really saying "I might do it, but if something else comes along, and I feel more like doing that, then I probably wont." We use the word as a way to make us less accountable. I have not been doing my best, or running as hard as I could. I've been like "OK, I'm going to try my best to do what I'm supposed to" And then when it's time to study Spanish, I feel more like scrolling on Facebook for a minute, and so I choose to do that. There is a difference between doing and trying to do. Doing means that you do it even when you don't feel like it, and that is what God expects from each of us. So I've recently recommitted, (we all recommit evert week) to just do it. I'm not gonna give myself leeway saying "I'll try" thinking that makes me less accountable. Sometimes you gotta just do it. When you go cliff jumping, you don't try to jump off, you just do it. It's the same thing with obedience. You gotta just do it, and you'll be glad in the long run. I probably talked too much, but hopefully this is useful for someone!

We played Disk Golf, and we threw some of our Frisbee into the wilderness, and I got destroyed while getting them. That's just the front of my face, but they got me everywhere. Mosquitos love me. Elder Rochelle threw his Frisbee into that river, but we managed to get it without getting in.

Week 15: Tornado

So this week's been kinda crazy, but I don't have tons of time because we were bust today.

Endoscopy

I mentioned in an earlier email how I choked on my steak at the Texas Steakhouse. Well that's happened about 5 more times since then, I just haven't wrote about it. One was even at a members house, and that was just embarrassing. Anyways, because it's been happening repeatedly, I called the mission nurse, and she apparently doesn't want the missionaries choking on their food, and so we've been working to schedule an endoscopy. Basically they're gonna check out what is up with my throat, and if something else is going on, or if I just need to chew better, and so I'll be cutting my meat real small until them. Of there's something up with my throat then I might have to get surgery on it, but I won't have to go home for it.

Tornado

We had a few tornado warnings, and although it didn't actually hit us (it hit towns nearby), we saw the clouds circling above us and we didn't wanna drive right under it, so we drove to the church and parked there. The weather was kind if crazy, and afterwards, I guess my mind was just elsewhere because I didn't see this stupid white pole and I scraped the side of the car on it, ripping off some black stuff. 

It was really embarrassing because it was my first day driving but that's OK. We're getting a new car tomorrow lol. The day after, the president told all the missionaries to go at the church because of the weather, and that was fun. We set up a fancy table and talked in British accents for a few hours, which was pretty fun.

Obedience

So, a quick thought. Through something my brother shared, I stumbled across D&C 58:6. Verses 3 and 4 are really good too, so go read those, but verse 6 says this. 

Behold, verily I say unto you, for this cause I have sent you---that you might be obedient, and that your hearts might be prepared to bear testimony of the things which are to come.

I liked this because I've been focusing too much on receiving a witness, and not enough on being obedient. But you very rarely recieve your witness or your testimony if you haven't been doing your best to keep the commandments. This is because until we need to prepare for it, because the testimony and the witness we recieve will demand a lot from us. If you're not ready for the witness, you won't get it, and you become ready to recieve it by keeping the commandments. God wants to give you the weight of his glory, but he doesn't want it to crush you. This is why we have to work so much, so that we're strong enough for it. The Crown of Glory is coming, but only to those who have prepared themselves for its weight.

Also, I ate that cricket!